I have a hate-hate relationship with France Telecom. Here’s why…
Once upon a time…
It all started when we first arrived in France. I visited the office in Fontenay-le-Comte to request my phone line and internet. No problem there. I struggled to explain my requirements in French to the lady in the shop, who had an air of “Why did I get this customer…?” about her. But explain I did and she gave me my LiveBox in a bice big “Orange” bag. “In 10 days it will be ready” she said. So home I go, plug in the live box and wait 10 days…
…10 days later I turn it on. Aaaaaaaand – nothing. Nada. Zilch. Oh, okay, I fib a little. I had lights on my Livebox. Red lights. Flashing lights. Unfortunately, in the world of LiveBoxes, flashing lights are A Bad Thing. So off I trot back to see the lady in the FT shop. Sadly, the “assistants” (I use quotes, as they didn’t really assist at all) didn’t understand me. “Come back tomorrow, talk to the lady who speaks english”. Well, that all sounded rather encouraging. A helpful english-speaking employee who would tell me in a language that I fully understood why my link to the outside world was just blinking at me like a sad little grey alien.
So back I went, full of enthusiasm that I would get to the bottom of my problem. “I’d like to speak to Madame whateverhernamewas please” (sorry, her name has been burned from my brain with my rage). “Over there,” said the “assistant”, pointing to….the same unhelpful person I had spoken to when I first arrived! Argh! Why, when I was clearly struggling to explain what I needed 10 days ago, did she not speak english then? Jeeeeeez!
Anyway, I calmed myself with a few blows of the head against the wall, and made my pitch to the “english-speaking lady”. “My livebox doesn’t work. I cannot get the phone or the internet.” ”Oh let me check.” Tappity tap on Big Master Computer System. “Ummmm….no, you can’t have the internet. Only dial-up. Go find a CD and use that. Goodbye.”
“….errrrrm…….what?…..”
“It is impossible”
“Why?”
“It is impossible”
“What do I need to do to make it work?”
“Nothing. It is impossible”
The end of the road…?
So there was me, having moved to rural france in order to work from home for my INTERNET-based company, facing the prospect of only being able to use dial-up?! I think you might be able to figure out my state of mind at this point. Selling the house after 1 month a was a distinct possibility.
Now, this was all happening in the week running up to Christmas, so this left us without a land-line and without the internet over Christmas and the new year. Really not good. We had planned to join with family and friends on Skype over the holidays, it being our first Christmas away, but that was now out of the question. As mobile reception is sketchy to say the least, anyone wanting to contact us had a very small chance of actually getting through to us. Not a good situation.
Anyway, I will try to move on otherwise this post will last forever…
Marion to the rescue!
Luckily for us, we had a great estate agent marion, who speak fluent french (and english, luckily 
) and she got on the case for us, calling the central FT number. I was also trying things out via the web channel. Between us we figured out that everyone else thought that we should be able to get up to 18mb broadband, so why didn’t the FT shop? Well, it says a big red IMPOSSIBLE on the Big Master Computer System, so there’s no need to look into it any further. Fortunately, the nice people on the phone arranged for an engineer to visit. Several days later, he arrived. He looked at the LiveBox. Sucked the air through his teeth. Went back out to the van. Fiddled with something (we know not what) and came back in. “There you go, all working”. Lights no longer flashing. All systems go. Total time to fix was 15 minutes. 15 minutes!!!! We had been without phone and internet for about 2 months fort the sake of 15 minutes!
Ding ding…round 2
So anyway, thankfully that little episode was behind us. Now skip forward several months to September 2008. We’ve been here 9 months and we’re all getting on well with the language. The kids are settled into school and have plenty of frineds. We feel its about time they watch a bit less English tv and start watching some french programmes at last. The location of the house rules out digital tv via an ariel, so I am reliebly informed. So I have 2 options. Stick another satelite dish on the house, alongside the one currently pointing at the english satlelite. Or, hang on, what’s this? TV via the LiveBox. Oooh, now that would solve a problem. no second dish. No more unsightly wires across the front of the house. Good option. So I tap our phone number into the little widget on the Orange website to find out which options are available on our line. Woopee, it says it will work! At last, something is going right!
So I summon up the energy to head on over to the FT shop and ask for them to do their thing and make it happen. Let me have some of that french TV loveliness if you please monsieur.
“What’s your telephone number?”
“blah-dee-blah blah-dee-blah…” (I hate the way you have to say it in pairs of numbers or no-one understands you 
)
Tappity tap on Big Master Computer System. “Ummmm….no, you can’t have TV via the LiveBox Only through a dish. Go find a dish and use that. Goodbye.”
“….errrrrm…….what?…..”
“It is IMPOSSIBLE“
AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Orange are useless…it has nothing to do with the language barrier, I strongly believe that one of their job criteria is to have the ability to instantly shut their ears as soon as a customer speaks. Did you see what they did with the new iPhone?
The speed capping? I know, just crazy! Really I think they must chant “Its impossible” in their sleep. A total customer service road-crash.
Aaaaargh indeed. They’re totally useless. I don’t have to go through all the FT nonsense because we’re “dégroupé” and Free is my ISP. But unfortunately Orange is my mobile operator. I hope you chose a different one.
Hi
it was only recently that I found out ‘FT’ stands for ‘France Telecom’…
I thought it was ‘F**##ing T**!!t’s (that’s usually how people refer to them!) or could that be Flaming Twits or Flagrantly Tripe, Famously Terrible, etc, etc!
Oh dear….chin up! From what I have heard your children aren’t missing much!
Sarah
Lesley: I may well be moving to a new ISP when my 12 month contract is up with Orange. I think we’re best to have as little to do with them as possible.
Sarah: I like your explanation
sounds about right. I’m sure the french TV is about as duff as the rubbish that they watch on british TV, but I would feel slightly better about them watching french pap as at least they will be learning a bit of language. Any language they learn from EastEnders and Hollyoaks has got to be bad…
Oh I do sympathise. We had French ‘experts’ in to fix the Livebox and they got it working – eventually. Then I fell for the saleslady on the phone who said we could have free calls via the livebox. I did all that seemed necessary – no phone. The ‘experts’ came in and did things. Still no phone.
The ‘orange’ number appears in the new phone directory under the proper one but it doesn’t work – so I’ve given up and gone over to Primus. That’s still not great but at least it’s cheaper than FT.
And there must be something in the training of staff for FT shops. They are just as unhelpful here.
Wow Sandy, they really are a nightmare aren’t they. I reckon there should be a warning to anyone buying a house over here to not expect any help at all when setting up your new home. I just wasn’t prepared for how unhelpful they would be.
France Telecom do my head in. I have been waiting for a simple phone line for two and a half years! The mayor was supposed to help out but what with parading around as ‘maire’ and his other departmental and regional functions, which basically come down to not much, he hasn’t sorted it.
For half of this time I was actually billed by France Telecom. There is no line even linked to my house but they billed me. My protests were ignored and finally I received notice from bailiffs. It was terrifying and incredibly stressfull. I managed to get someone to help me. for the moment there are no more bills but France Telecom has not apologised.
The problem is that although I live in a town, all the places in the ‘boitier’ as FT calls it, are taken. So I just have to live without a phone.
Blimey Chris, you are having a bad time of it. I really don’t know why they have to be so obnoxious. So much for “the customer is always right”!
I think we have suffered a similar problem to you as we were told we had to have an 02 28 number instead of 02 51 like everyone else in this area due to there not being any room left on the local exchange or something, I’m sure this is what is causing us grief whenever we ask to do anything as they just see that we are miles away from the exchange and so nothing is possible.
Does anyone out there know where 02 28 is?
Thanks for stopping by Chris and do let me know how things progress
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Hello everybody, the name is Donald, I am living in the Drome and listen to my experience with Orange. Yesterday my Livebox gradually started dieing, first the ethernet connetion then the usb and then SILENCE. So this morning I call Orange assistence and explain my problem knowing that the Livebox had broken down. But as probably you know before reporting to the Orange Boutique you need to have a “dossier number” because without this “essential piece of evidence”they will not change you Livebox. “Sorry “said the lady of the lady of the helpdesk, presently our computersystem is on maintenance and I cannot help you before mid afternoon ( mind you it was 09.00 when I called). So do you suggest I can go to the boutique and they will change the Box without dossier number ? I don’t know.
Anyhow 15 kms to the Orange boutique and explained the problem. “O we can test the box here”the bloke said cheerfully. The box was tested and indeed DEFECT. “Now I can give you a new one, but you have to return tghis afternoon and bring me all the old cables and plugs belonging to the old Box”!!!! “So why don’t we open the new box and I give you the new cables and plugs instead “was my question. “No Sir that is not possible becaise we need the old ones”. End of story. So home , installed the new Box with Old cables and plugs, it works and this aftrenon back to the Orange Boutique and returning the new cables and plugs ( hidden in a carton). Thank you Sir and enjoy your weekend.
What is it that your Sir Winston C. said ( I am dutch) France is a nice country but there shouldn’t be living any french.
Enjoy your weekend.